Christ Church Rockville Lenten Devotion
John 13:21-32
In John’s gospel, Jesus has just finished washing the disciples’ feet and now shares a pre-Passover meal with them. He is “troubled in spirit,” asserting that “very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me.” His followers look uneasily at each other, saying nothing until Peter nudges the disciple Jesus loved to ask, “Lord who is it?” The Lord replies, “It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” He proceeds with this action, handing the dipped bread to Judas Iscariot.
At no place in the Gospels do we find Jesus talking with this disciple about his possible betrayal: the One who seems to know where Judas is headed makes no recorded attempt to probe his thinking or to dissuade him. However, it seems that the prospect of Judas’ plans disturbs Jesus. Betrayal is painful even to the Son of God. Rather than pursuing Judas in any way, Jesus announces to the group that one of them will turn against him. He speaks to an impending reality that the eleven don’t see, and he says no more until the beloved disciple asks who it is.
I think of Michelangelo’s masterful depiction on the Sistine Chapel ceiling of God with outstretched hand to an inert Adam at creation, a hair’s breadth away from touching the human with the very gift of life. This supper scene teeters at a different edge of creation—the edge of unraveling. Jesus extends his hand to Judas, the human being who dangles at the edge, offering him food and an unspoken invitation to reflect: Do you really want to go through with betraying me? Is this your best thinking? In a paradoxical way Jesus presents Judas with an invitation to ponder his direction, assess and perhaps alter his course. Time may have slowed down in this moment, heaven and earth poised to see what the follower would do. God’s hand is outstretched to him with an invitation to choose life, and Judas perhaps couldn’t or wouldn’t see the open door. Alas, not knowing the full weight of his actions, Judas wordlessly takes the bread. Satan enters him, setting in motion a descent into a hell so deep that the lost disciple would come to revile his choice and the consequences with such despair that he took his own life. He made the worst decision of his life and watched in horror as the drama engulfed everyone on its stage in evil.
Surely, the glory Jesus describes as the culmination and end of his suffering gathered Judas up in its redeeming light and delivered him from despair. I pray Judas accepted this invitation to Paradise. Thanks be to God, who in Christ transforms even our worst decisions into thresholds shimmering with new life.